reality

reality 

    I bet you are thinking this will be a philosophical monologue about reality, well you would be wrong. It’s a monologue about a reality of sorts though, reality TV. Oh yes, that wonderful fluffishness, semi-scripted, time waster. I have to admit that I love that crap and I don’t feel the need to apologize for my love of bubble-gum-fluffy-faux-reality television programs. You will just have to deal with it. I think they are fun. My sister also loves it and she is uber intelligent so I feel quite justified in my love of crap tv. If it’s good enough for her, it’s most certainly good enough for me.

    Once again I have fallen prey to the brain freezing effects of a new tv show, ‘I’m a celebrity, get me out of here!’ I got sucked in. Janice Dickinson is fabulous, and by fabulous I mean a complete hot mess. She’s got Sanjaya (he of American Idol fame…if you can call it fame…) on a short leash. Ok so it’s a diamond studded leash probably from Harry Winston, but it’s still short. The mohawk sporting Idol wannabe is a self proclaimed ‘jungle boy’. He LOVES the jungle. It’s his happy place. He’s literally covered in insect bites. His gangly limbs flail around and he jumps like you put a firecracker under his ass every time Janice squawks that she needs her feet rubbed, or her back rubbed, or I am guessing…her ego rubbed.

    But for me what makes this show watchable is the inclusion of Speidi. For those of you not in ‘the know’, Speidi are Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt from the Hills. Ahh the Hills, another ‘reality’ show. It’s scripted, it’s craptacular, it’s all about fabulous looking twenty-somethings who live in the Hollywood Hills. I recommend that unless you can afford to lose a few IQ points that you avoid this show like the plague.

    Heidi spends her time in the jungle trying to destroy the ozone layer by constantly spraying her hair extensions with dry shampoo. When she’s not crying because there are bugs and the jungle is dirty, she’s vomiting because she has been ‘tortured’ by having to live in a dark dirty shed with little food and lots of bugs. A few of the other celebs stole Heidi’s belongings including her precious dry shampoo. The barbarians even ripped the labels off her bottles. Awwww. Poor Heidi. She’s either crying or spraying her hair. It’s a win win situation here people.

    Spencer Pratt, and believe me his is one, a HUGE one, found Jesus whilst in the jungle. And you’ll love this part…Stephen Baldwin baptized him in the jungle river. You just can’t make this shit up! Oh wait…you can. Sorry. Stephen Baldwin, in my opinion, is all sorts of crazy. Still, Spencer is so annoying that if I were Stevie B I would have left his head under the water a tad longer…

    It may not have replaced ‘American Idol’ in my heart, but since there is nothing worth while on television during the summer, I will continue to stayed tuned to the trainwreck that is ‘Get me out of here, I’m a celebrity!” Sadly Speidi left the jungle in a fit, but then came back. Then they left again because they are too famous. These two can’t make up their minds. But they DO make for fantastic tv viewing. Who knows if they are off the show for good. Only time will tell. Are Heidi and Spencer desperate losers or brilliant actors who have parleyed their famewhoring ways into a fortune? You be the judge.

    That’s me then.

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Published in: on June 15, 2009 at 5:48 pm  Leave a Comment  
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illusion

illusion 

     I started thinking about illusions today. You know we are all guilty of presenting illusions, or hiding behind them, even though we don’t mean to. I personally don’t mind dealing with illusions. I have no desire to know all about the hidden secrets of things like movie magic, or slight of hand magic, or any kind of magic. I prefer to see only the illusion.

    When you think about it, we only present to others what we choose for them to see. We hide behind an illusion. There is nothing wrong with that in my opinion. We don’t have to reveal every nuance of ourselves to those around us. We don’t owe that to anyone. It’s ok to keep some things for yourself. Is that selfish? NO. You need to keep some things for yourself. It is not plausible to give everything of yourself away to others. Even the person closest to you in life is not privy to every thought you have be it mundane or something more intimate.

    Illusions can be safe. A mask to hide behind. Does that ultimately harm us in the long run? Some would say yes, but we all do it. We’ve all heard the saying, ‘Put on a happy face!’ well that my friends, is an illusion also. Even when you are sad, the world doesn’t want to see that, the world wants you to pretend to be happy. As long as the illusion hurts no one, I subscribe to the theory that a little illusion, or mystery, is alright. I choose that option.

    So keep a few things to yourself. Keep them safe. Don’t feel compelled to pretend to be something that you are not in order to make those around you feel more comfortable. But don’t deceive anyone, including yourself, don’t hide behind denial. You owe it to yourself to be honest. It’s never good to pretend to be something you are not when you are dealing with your inner self. You deserve the truth, as ugly as it may be. Save the illusion for everyone else. It’s all smoke and mirrors in life anyway.

    P.S. you get bonus points if you can spot the illusion in the picture above.

    That’s me then.

Published in: on June 5, 2009 at 1:47 pm  Comments (1)